Dear Peace lovers,
When I was a girl my mother used to say to me :
“Alex, sometimes in life you'll find yourself riding high on the crest of a wave.... other times you'll be down in a deep trough... “
This concept is easy enough for a child to grasp, yet as adults, when it comes to being vulnerable, people tend to censor themselves, especially in the downtimes:
“I shouldn't complain …..…I’m fine…..I should be grateful….there are people worse off than me…etc”
Have we deluded ourselves into thinking that life is about seeking only the pleasant experiences?, and that only the highs, wins, and successes are worthy of sharing?
This trend in accentuating only the ‘positive crests' and avoiding the so-called ‘negative troughs', means we can miss out on learning how to ride the inevitable waves of loss, failure, chaos, suffering, and sorrow. All of which are an inevitable part of the human experience.
🦒 Gratitude and appreciation notwithstanding; hearing complaints, judgments, and grievances through a filter of compassion, is an opportunity to pay attention to what it is that really matters. By digging for the 'buried treasure' ( our precious human needs) behind the complaint, we can connect to our values and take action to make the changes we'd like to see.
😪 Acknowledging unhappy, anxious, or distressed feelings (rather than hiding or repressing them) helps us meet others, ourselves, and life, just the way it is. Making 'room' for the mourning and sorrow associated with unmet needs brings a greater sense of peace and acceptance. So we can better surf the tough, ‘trough’ times.
❤️ By showing up honestly and authentically in our humanness, we inspire and encourage others to be vulnerable and human too. This creates more connection and compassion for our shared humanity. And more opportunity to collaborate, support and contribute to one another's needs and make life more wonderful!
If you have something you want to mourn, moan or complain about ...and are interested to learn more about the benefits of empathy, and compassionate communication then consider either attending a foundational training, joining my online integration group or sign up today for some private coaching.
All complaints welcome! 😘 I'd love to hear from you.